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Tuesday, February 6, 2018


Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory


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African childrenTel Aviv, February 7 - A human-rights-monitoring group showcased a survey today of Arabs who hold Israeli citizenship regarding the impending deportation of illegal African migrants as evidence that the Jews of Israel harbor ethnically prejudiced attitudes.

The Rights-Auditing Committee on Israeli Social Trends (RACIST) released a report today citing that because half of the Arab-Israelis surveyed in a recent poll supported the expulsion of illegal migrants from Africa to either their country of origin or a stable third state, the Jews of Israel must be racist.

A poll this week revealed that half of the Arab citizens of Israel who responded agreed with the government's stated intention to deport thousands of such migrants. In response, RACIST issued an analysis of the survey that asserts such numbers demonstrate the systemic racism inherent in Israel's Jewish majority, and called on the international community to take measures to punish Israel for such depravities.

"First, we dispute the relevance of categorizing people as 'Jewish' or 'Arab' Israelis for purposes of the poll," the report read. "Standard practice in NGO work calls for that distinction to be made only when it fits the narrative of evil-Jews, evil-Israel, victim-Arab. Methodologically, then, this poll only shows that half of Israelis want black Africans expelled, which is a bona fide indicator of racism."

"Second, even granting the validity of an ethnically specific focus for such a survey, the results provide evidence for racism," the report continued. "Why do the Arabs who hold Israeli citizenship want Africans deported? Because the Africans compete with Arabs for low-wage, low-skill jobs. There you have evidence that the Jewish majority relegates the Arab minority to poor, second-class status, forcing them to compete with migrants in the cheap labor market." The report included no discussion of the skyrocketing rate at which Arabs are earning academic degrees, and the fact that many Jewish Israelis from the Haredi sector occupy the same economic class. However, a spokesman for RACIST dismissed that data.

"You're ignoring the first methodological point," argued Kagni Tiv de Sonantz, the organization's deputy director. "You can't just cite data without filtering it through the narrative test first. If you were to cite the data in such a way that makes Israeli Jews look bad, that would be one thing, but that's not what you're doing with your question. It's disingenuous, and therefore evidence that Israeli society is disingenuous about everything, especially it's concern for non-Jews. Assuming you're Israeli. Which I am, for purposes of this analysis, because it fits the proper narrative."




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